No Contest

With one day left to go in March, I am managing to squeeze in one more post!
I think it is important to avoid making comparisons between yourself and the kids' "real" mom or dad. I don't know if men have this problem, but I know that we women tend to compare ourselves with other women we encounter.

On top of the fact that we often already have unrealistic expectations for ourselves, we seem to believe that we're in some sort of competition for the admiration or respect of the children. It's only human nature to want to be liked and accepted for who we are. But when we feel that we are falling short, it's easy to think we might be "better" if we were more like so-and-so.

Inevitably, the kids will compare Step-mom with Mom. They'll note the differences and form their own opinions about both. Unfortunately, if you think they "like Mom better", you're probably right and that will probably always be true no matter what you do. So stop making it a contest. Just be the best YOU you can be and give your best to the kids when their with you.