Double-Standards

I am embarrassed to admit that I have found fault with the way my stepkids have done certain things, only to realize later that my husband does those things the same way. I will spare you a list of all of my nit-picky, OCD pet-peeves, but one example of this is the way they hang up their bath towels after a shower.

Maybe it's just me, or maybe it's a "woman of the house" thing, but I prefer wet towels to be neatly hung so that they have a chance to dry out properly before the next use. It's a fact that if towels are hung on a rod in a bunched-up manner, they will take a very long time to dry, if they get dry at all. Now, I'm no Heloise or Martha Stewart, but I do know that damp fabrics tend to sour over time. I know it's not the end of civilization as we know it, but it's icky and sloppy in my book.

The point is, it really bothered me when the kids didn't take the time to hang their towels neatly. I'm sure I've fussed with them about this in the past, but I've since learned to pick my battles. Now I just fix it myself. But then one day, when the kids weren't around, I noticed that my husband had left his towel hung half-heartedly on the rod. Now, I'm positive that he's been doing that for at least as long as I've known him, but this was the first time I really noticed.

It suddenly dawned on me that I was not being fair to the kids. They were sloppy and bothersome because they didn't do things the way I do, but it never bothered me when my husband behaved the same way. I realize that some women would read their husbands the riot act over something as trivial as wet towels hung improperly (or dirty laundry in the wrong place, or crumbs on the counter after making a sandwich), but that's not my style.

As the Christian wife of a Christian man, I am duly submitted to him and I recognize his authority over me. Therefore, it is not my place to scold my husband for what I might consider a minor annoyance. He is the head of the household and I don't mind tidying up after him if needed. (Note to Women's Lib-ers: I don't need to be liberated from male oppression and please don't send hate mail!)But if it's ok for my husband to do something, why should it be wrong for his kids to do the same thing?

I just want to encourage other stepmoms to recognize those situations that create double-standards in your homes. If your husband is doing something you dislike, discuss it with him. If his kids do the same thing, discuss it with him. Together you will be able to address the problem without you becoming the proverbial wicked stepmother.