I love almost everything about Spring-time, but I must confess that Mother's Day is a sore spot for me. Not having any children of my own, being a step-mom is the closest I can get for the time being...but does that really qualify?
This is a question I have struggled with in recent years. In the past, we have attended many "Mother's Day" church services and most of the time, an effort is made to acknowledge ALL mothers, including steps. It's always been an uneasy experience for me to stand beside all the "real" moms, accepting praise and recognition along with them.
See, I truly reverence the role of Mother. It is a unique and challenging job that requires much more effort than I have ever had to put forth as a step-mom. Nevertheless, I have high hopes for the kids; I pray for them; I advise them; and I care about what happens to them. Although these are all mom-like qualities, I realize that none of those things has very much to do with Mother's Day.
It seems to me that the whole point of Mother's Day is for moms to be recognized by those who have benefitted from their "mothering". It is a day set aside for "children" of all ages to let their moms know how much they are appreciated.
For the part-time step-moms, our roles are vastly different from that of the "real" Mom or even the step-mom who is a full-time part of their kids' lives. As part-timers, we may very well be just a tiny fraction of all that matters to the kids, and therefore we'll likely not be recognized or truly appreciated for our "motherhood" until the kids are grown. And that's ok...or at least it might as well be.
As for me, I'd rather not receive any recognition or praise or gifts unless they are given with heartfelt sincerity. Otherwise, it would all just be empty gestures prompted by feelings of guilty obligation. Somehow, such gestures lack all of the warm & fuzzy-ness that make special days seem not-so-special.
So "Happy Mother's Day" to all of you part-timers who are truly blessed to be recognized as mothers. And for the rest...hang in there! Just be the best step you can be everyday...that's what makes you special :)
