A Pleasant Surprise

Many people recently celebrated Mother's Day. For several years now, this has been an extremely stressful holiday for me. Not only because I'm a stepmom, but also because I don't yet have any biological children. (Wow! Could that possibly sound any more clinical?) Anyway, I'm sure that I'm not the only stepmom who has felt the sting of disappointment on Mother's Day because you never really quite feel like a "real" mom. Whenever someone sends you the traditional greeting or attempts to honor you in some way, you often feel like a fraud because you haven't officially earned the noble title of "mother". Obviously, this special day is no longer reserved for mothers in the traditional sense. Not sure what I mean? Well, next year, go to any store that sells cards and marvel at the variety of offerings. Basically, it boils down to the relationship between the "child" (whatever the age) and the mother or "mother-like figure" (whatever her title). In other words, if the special kids in your life recognize and respect your role in theirs, then you've been deemed worthy of being celebrated. This year was special because both of my stepkids recognized me in their own special way. They will never know how much joy that gave me! Although stepmoms are becoming increasingly more common in our culture, our role is still difficult to fill and often fraught with stress. But if you have faith and do your best, you will be a positive part of your stepkids' lives. If you're going through a rough patch and it seems like sometimes you just don't matter to your stepkids, take a deep breath (don't for get to exhale!), say a prayer, and hold on. Eventually, they will let you know they appreciate the mother-like things you do for them.