I've never been on the parenting side of teenage life, and frankly, it's been quite a while since I was a teenager. Are things really so different for my stepkids as compared to my youth? Sure! I never had a cell phone or social networking sites...and the public school system seems to have made a few changes (for the better?) since the '90s.
But I am reminded of a familiar saying: "The more things change, the more they stay the same." While things seem different on the surface, there are some things that remain as true now as they ever were. Kids need love, support, guidance, and assurance. Parents are not perfect. Stepparents don't always know how they fit in. Nobody gets it all right every time.
Depending on the age of your stepkids, they may or may not be able to understand these truths. Most kids seem to lack the patience and compassion to give themselves and others the benefit of the doubt. And on the other hand, parents either expect more out of their kids than what they themselves were able to accomplish, or they don't expect enough and their kids suffer the consequences.
Each day offers many opportunities to either screw up or to succeed. Every encounter with our stepkids is full of unknowns. They've had different experiences since their last visit with you. You have gained some wisdom (hopefully) from your past visits with them. But remember that each child is different, so just because your now college-age stepchild made certain mistakes at 16, you can't assume that his or her younger sibling will do likewise.
Hold fast to the tried and true constants in life and don't be afraid of the unknown. You just might be pleasantly suprised by what tomorrow brings.
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